1. Being able to tell the difference between when a friend is joking around about something, and when they are actually trying to talk about something really serious that they are afraid/embarrassed to let other people know about.
2. Keeping the secrets you tell people that you will keep, even if there might be some social value in telling other people.
3. Not being afraid to help people when they are in need of help, even when they won’t admit that they need it. Even when helping them could make you seem like the bad guy, or put your relationship in at least temporary jeopardy.
4. Admitting the things that you were wrong about, and giving the kind of apology that isn’t just a half-assed “Sorry…
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Make a conscious effort to smile today. Find something to be grateful for. You are lucky to be alive, you are blessed to have this moment. Take a breath, and soadk it all in.
I always seem to find a reason to worry. I should stop that. It will all work out, it will be okay.
So summer is picking up a little bit. I got a promotion at work recently (yay me), I’ve been able to get out of the house on a semi-regular basis which is good. I’m doing well. I’ve been George R.R. Martin’s A Game of Thrones these past couple of days so that’s been keeping me occupied on my off days from work. I also got my exam results back and I’m pleased with what I got. All things considered, it has been a successful year.
I’ve also come to the conclusion that I’m too distracted to write lengthy pieces so I may resort to lists in the future
Words I needed to hear.
When I think of the things I wish I knew five years ago, I’m wrought with both shame for having been so immature and naïve, and yet also inspiration, seeing how far I’ve come. Some of the things I wish I knew back then are probably the things I am going to wish I were more conscious of in five years from now.
I wish I knew that a “normal” life isn’t so definitive. I was so afraid of just being average, ordinary. I wish someone could have explained to me what I was actually afraid of: not living my life before it passed me by. I wish I knew that the only real measure of success and normalcy is your own gauge of it. I wish someone would have told me to calm down and enjoy where I was, because I’d miss it eventually. I wish someone would have…
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I have a problem. No, I am not referring to any of the self-diagnosed personality disorders that I’ve convinced myself I suffer from. I am talking about the fact that I am to this date, unable to answer the question “What will you do with your degree when you graduate?” I want to say “I have no idea”, but social courtesy would have me construct a response that appeases the person to whom I am speaking, and that response will more than likely aggravate than appease. As such, I find that I will generally say anything from ‘professor’ to ‘social worker’, and on rare occasions, ‘lawyer’ comes up as an appropriate answer.
I was recently required to answer the aforementioned question as part of a biography that was being included in a booklet and as I am writing this article, I find myself struggling to come up with a good answer. If I have nothing, I may be perceived as a wayward soul that lacks ambition. On the other hand, I don’t want to give a statement that does not accurately reflect where I see myself heading in life. Like every person searching for an evasive answer to life’s important questions, I went to Google. After spending half hour trying to find tests and articles that would give me some clarity on what my life’s purpose is, I turned to my outlet of choice for personal catharsis; the written word (which takes its shape in the form of the article you are reading right now).
I went back to the email that was sent to me hoping I could find a loophole in the syntactical arrangement that would allow me to avoid confronting the actual question but was unsuccessful. After reading it again, the specificity of the question as it relates to the utilization of my degree began to bother me. The question was not asking me what I want to do with my life, it was asking me how I plan to make use what will be the accumulation of four years of money, time, energy, tears, premature grey hairs and expectations. Is it then the case where I am defined by the program I pursued during my tenure as an undergraduate student? I’m not so sure I want to be confined to that.
Don’t ask me what I plan to do with my degree. Ask me how I plan to effect change, make my mark in the world and/or realize my potential. If someone asks me the question, “What are your ambitions?” I don’t want to use the established template of “I want to be a *insert occupation here*” because I think it obscures the richness of individual motivation. As a response to the question of ambition, I want to be able to say that my goals are: (i) to provide a space where marginalized bodies can have their voices heard, (ii) to affirm and reaffirm the existence of those who are made to feel less than worthy and (iii)to encourage a collective consciousness of the shared human experience of pain in the hopes that it foster empathy. I haven’t found those aims listed in any job description thus far, but I am sure those aims can be actualized through more than one occupation. So, please don’t ask me what I plan to do with my degree, ask something that elicits the response we are really both looking for.
I never want to feel like an afterthought, nor do I want to make anyone else feel like they’re an afterthought. It’s never a good place to be.
I need someone who gets it, who gets me and is physically present. I need someone to talk to, about any and every thing that is on my mind. I need you to listen as I will when you need me to. I want someone to go home to, and I don’t have that right now. Forever the outsider, I observe them in cliques that were formed effortlessly while leaving me on the outskirts. Great, thanks guys.
I don’t think you should force it though. It should be natural, effortless. If you don’t want to be friends with me then that’s okay, but it’s a little awkward when no one wants to. Well, no. No one wants to be your best friend, no one wants to be the one to call you up on a Thursday night and say “Let’s go, we’re going out”. It’s always “you should come”. I don’t want to be an afterthought. I don’t